Kids Say the Darndest Things

That was the title of a 30-minute daytime TV show back in the late 50s and hosted by the one and only author, actor, humorist Art Linkletter.  Linkletter was a very tall grandfather figure who loved people, especially children. As a host, he had a way of making the audience laugh before anything really happened. It was the expectation and smile in his voice. You just knew something funny was coming up.

The setting was simple - his guests would be three or four young children - maybe ages 3-6, each sitting on a chair a few feet apart, most of them swinging their feet and waving at their parents.  He would kneel down beside them and chat with each one about anything they chose - food, siblings, Christmas, bugs - you name it. He immediately put them at ease so they talked freely.  At the end of the conversation with each child, he would say something like, "When you were getting ready to come here today in your beautiful pink dress, did your mommy or daddy give you any special instructions?"

They'd think a minute and then say, "She said to be polite and not fidget." He'd keep going. "So what did your mommy tell you NOT to say today?"  The kids talked freely while the parents stood nervously backstage.  Kids are so honest and their answers were priceless. "Ummm, she said not to talk about Uncle Ralph who had to go to jail because he stole money from the church."  ...or..."My dad said not to tell that his boss is a jerk." ...or..."She said don't say that we think the neighbor's new baby is really funny looking."  Oops.

I am involved in a group at church called M&Ms (moms and mentors), and at the first meeting, the young moms were asked to write down the funniest things their kids had said that week.  I was expecting answers like the ones on the TV show. Wrong - very wrong. Some were rude and others were crude. As the moms chuckled, I found myself thinking, "Hmmm, at our house that would have warranted a bar of soap.  Mommies, let me tell you what funny really sounds like."

There isn't enough space on one blog to list them all, but here are a few from the Braatz household list of "Kids Say the Darndest Things...

Two small girls debating over my "likstip" or "likspik"; same small girls over a lunch of "gorilla cheese" or "girl cheese" .....and a favorite; we had friends with a son named Jeremy; but in our house he was "Jiminy" or "Germany."

A 2nd grader being very hungry after school; she hadn't eaten her lunch because the teacher said that the potatoes were 'all rotten' - took a while to convince her that potatoes and cheese were a good combination.

A different 2nd grader proudly saying school was really good that day because they were learning about the "Silverware War."

And one last one.  We had decided to put a wood stove in a big dining room of our old house.  The littles (a favorite word in our family) stayed with Dad while mom ran to do Saturday errands.  As Dad took a big blade and started cutting the carpet out where the hearth would be, a very wide-eyed little girl gasped and said, "Ohhhhhh, boy, is Mom gonna be mad!"

Dear reader, when events like these happen in your world, I urge you to write them down. Trust me,  the day will come when you will either wish you had or be very glad you did.

Blessings,
Rosi